I"m on the phone, talking to my friend Angela. I"ve had such a hard week! First, my new boyfriend (who I thought might be The One) bought me a bicycle for a birthday present (AWFUL!!!) and then I spent all day yesterday on a TikTok video that might not even go viral! I"m glad we"re going out for dinner tonight, to relax and have a really good talk about all our traumatic experiences. I tell her to come in when she arrives - the door"s open and I need to take a few selfies of my new outfit. But it"s not her who comes in at all! It"s a man who wants to take me prisoner and hold me for ransom! He clamps one hand over my mouth, and the next thing I know, I"m securely tied to a chair with ropes everywhere! At least he hasn"t cut off my clothes - I simply couldn"t bear that, and the last man who snatched me absolutely ruined an expensive jacket. I struggle and struggle, but it turns out to be almost impossible to escape. Well, not *almost* actually. Totally impossible omg! He soon comes back to gag me even though I promise not to make any noise. How rude! So now I"m ballgagged and tied to a chair in my knee high leather boots, tight black jeans, floppy hat and peasant top. It"s sooooo irritating.
Then it"s time for me to call my step-dad to provide the ransom. Urgh, it"s all so demeaning. The man makes me ask my step-dad for £2M, and then he covers my mouth with his hand again, before gagging me with the ballgag. Again! I"m so sick of this; is it even clean?? And do I have to get captured like this on such a regular basis? It"s hard being a famous millionaire socialite!